Haven Herald Vol.100

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Episode correspondant : 305 Double Jeopardy

Source : Haven Maine Wikia

Bareknuckle Bar Brawl Leaves Local Watering Hole In Shambles

With the cross-town gridiron battle between the East Haven Rifleman and the Haven High Schooners approaching, the normally friendly rivalry took an ugly turn when a fight broke out at The Grey Gull- and the bar seems to have taken the biggest beating.
"My baby is a wreck," said Duke Crocker, local entrepreneur and owner of The Grey Gull. "Everyone's entitled to kick back every now and then and have a good time—I mean, that's why I opened this joint. But these guys just couldn't hold their liquor—it was like Animal House in there."
Patrons at The Grey Gull that night report that the skirmish began when two rival groups—one wearing the blue and yellow of East haven, the other in red and white, supporting Haven High—couldn't agree on the exact rules of "beer pong," a recreational drinking game popularized by college fraternities.
"It's stupid, really, just stupid—they trashed my entire bar because they were fighting about the rules." Crocker said. "But everyone knows—East Haven, Haven High, Mars, wherever—that you can't blow in a cup to make the ball pop out. That's beerpong 101. I even have it posted on the wall."
"And now my poor bar looks like the hotel room in The Hangover because some shmuck trying to relive his glory days wants to play beer pong like a Zeta sister. Man up."
Crocker estimates that the damage which was chiefly superficial, mostly affecting his inventory and bar accoutrements- will cost him several thousands of dollars to replace, and that his bar will have to remain closed during cleanup.
"There's a lesson to be learned here," Crocker said. "Never serve a Rifleman."

— by Vince Teagues

East Haven Riflemen Sink the Haven High Schooners, 52-17

After a week where the streets of Haven were paved with the colors of pride—either blue and yellow, or red and white, depending out personal allegiances—and town-wide trash talking, old rivalries renewed again as the East Haven Riflemen took the field against the Haven High Schooners for the 58th meeting between the two football programs. However, the pomp and circumstance before the opening kickoff proved to be much more exciting than the game itself, as the Schooners were unable to stop the high-caliber Riflemen all night long.
"It wouldn't be right to even call that a game," said Trent McElroy, a Haven High fan who caught 20 passes as a tight end his senior season (1983) wearing the Schooners' red and white. "It was more like they too us out back to the wood shed and beat us with a rolled up garden hose."
The Schooners simply had no answer for the dual threat of James T. Pendersnatch —the Rifleman's hard-nosed, seemingly unstoppable running back who carved up the Schooners' defense for 180 all-purpose yards and the arm of Hunter Smith, who threw for 425 yards with six touchdowns and no interceptions.
"There's a lot of things we could have done better, would have done differently, or shouldn't have done at all." said Schooners head coach Landry Taylor. "But right now, it just seems like getting out of bed at all this morning was a mistake. I want for my players to go home, put this out of their minds and forget it ever happened. Tomorrow is a new day."
No Haven High players were willing to comment after the game, with several curiously stating that they had no recollection of the night's events. At least in that, they were well coached.

A venir.